Yours to Hold
by laurzz
Summary: DannyLindsay. Set during 'Pay Up' - but before -THAT- scene in the bar - M rated. "He wanted that connection with his wife that Flack could no longer have with his girlfriend."


**A/N: Hey all. Here's a little random oneshot that's been sat in my document folder waiting for me to finish up for... forever. But... ****It's been a long, long, LONG time since I wrote anything even remotely M rated... so you will all really have to forgive me if this one here is a little rusty. It's based in the time between the case finishing and the team meeting up in the bar in season 5's finale 'Pay up'. - And, as mentioned, it's M rated. So beware :P **

**Two huge thank you's to send out. First of all, Diane – AKA Paradiseblue for suggesting a gym scene in a review reply pm. This is far from what you suggested m'dear, but it's what sparked the idea nonetheless. **

**And also, to Julia for the reads through and vote of confidence! Love ya girly. **

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_The smell of your skin,  
The taste of your kiss,  
The way you whisper in the dark...  
Your hair all around me,  
Baby you surround me;  
You touch every place in my heart..._

'_Amazed,' – Lonestar._

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Lindsay Messer sighed heavily as she quietly closed the bedroom door to her daughter's room and padded down the hallway. She could hear the laboured breathing of her husband in their room as he lay on his bench that he tugged out of the closet every day as a ritual and then proceed to haul the heavy barbell over his head like clockwork.

How he had the strength within him to do such a thing every day was beyond her – especially today of all days. For her, it'd been emotionally draining and had left her with little strength to do anything.

Heading into her and Danny's bedroom, Lindsay sighed as she sat down on their bed.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready, hon?" Danny huffed as he raised his extremely heavy barbell in the air over his head. "We gotta leave in like an hour."

"Shouldn't you be getting ready?" she countered as she gestured to him as he lay on the bench.

"I wanted to take my mind off why we were goin' out tonight."

"I take it you're as hesitant about going tonight as I am?"

Danny let out a puff of air. "You could say that..."

"He needs us Dan," Lindsay whispered, "You know he does."

"I know he does..." Danny nodded, "Hence why I'm prolonging everythin'... Flack never needs people. It's me that needs Flack. Flack's the go to guy for shit. Flack doesn't need people, Linds... And it's..."

She stood up as Danny set his barbell down and sat up on his bench. She straddled the bench and bent down as she kissed his sweaty forehead. "I know, baby... I know."

"I hate seein' him like this, ya'know? And I know Jess wouldn't want this for him."

Lindsay sighed. "Well, see it from his..."

"Don't finish that sentence," Danny said as he cut his wife off. "Don't do it, Linds."

"Danny seriously, what would you be like right now if-..."

"Lindsay," He growled as she moved away from him, "Please,"

"Danny, I'm just..."

"I know what you're _just_ doin' and I'm_ just_ beggin' you not to, alright? Shut up about it, Linds."

Lindsay fell silent and headed to sit on their bed as Danny stood from the bench. He could tell from the look in her eyes he'd hurt her feelings with his tone of voice. He silently sat down next to her and wrapped his arm over her shoulders and pulled her into his side. "I'm sorry, Linds."

She shrugged. "It's fine."

Danny sighed. Her silence was speaking volumes to him – things were far from fine.

"You can talk to me, you know that right?"

"Of course I do." She looked at him, before shrugging him away. "I need to jump in the shower before..."

As she stood up, Danny managed to take hold of her hand, and he pulled her back down onto his lap. "The shower will still be there when we're done talking, sweetheart."

"Danny... we need to..."

"Talk."

"Not now," she whispered. "I just want to get today finished alright? Talk to me tomorrow."

"No, see, we tried that thing where you pushed me away and dealt with things on your own, and I don't know about you, baby, but I wasn't exactly a fan. Now, we're gonna sit here until you tell me what's weighing on your mind, k? I'm Daddy, so you gotta do what I say."

She smiled sadly at him. "I'm just... taking it hard I guess."

Danny wrapped his arms around her as she shifted on his lap slightly. As he pressed a kiss to her temple, she let out a little whimper.

"Honey? Come on... what's goin' on?"

"I'd hate to see that look in your eyes," she whispered as she turned to face him. "That glazed look of loss. I'm looking at Flack, but Danny, I keep seeing you."

"You're not going anywhere." Danny whispered. "I'm not going to let you."

"I'm pretty sure Don had told himself that a handful of times in the past few months. Look at what happened there..."

Danny let out a breath and decided that he needed to go about explaining to Lindsay in a different way. A way in which she could understand he was deadly serious about her not going anywhere.

He let himself fall back to the bed; her still wrapped in his arms, therefore letting her effectively fall to the bed with him. She slid down his body and laid on her side on the bed, facing him, as he propped himself up with his elbow – letting her mirror his actions.

"I fought to be with you for so long, Lindsay, I'm at the stage where I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I was at that stage a long time ago."

"But Danny, you can't save me all the time. What if you're not there or-..."

"Lindsay, if it means I throw myself in front of a bullet for you, I'm gonna do it, k?"

"But..."

"There _are_ no buts, Montana." Danny whispered. "Whatever happens, it's you and me for the long haul, now... k? We have a little girl to raise together, and I'm not watching her on my own, nor am I letting you watch her grow on your own. We've gotta stick together."

She wiggled across the small distance separating them, and pressed her body against his as he gazed down at her as she lay on her back. "I don't know what I'm more afraid of. The thought of me not being here, or having to deal with that fact that you might not be there one morning when we wake up."

"Do you know something I don't, baby?"

"No, it's just... I don't know. Things come in threes, Stella's... Her... her mentor –slash- father figure died. Now Jess. It's gonna be us, Danny. We're always the ones that have the obstacles and drama."

"Maybe it'll be Mac. We both know how Drama appears to be his middle name."

Lindsay glared at him.

"What? He's not had a stalker in a while... You never know."

"Danny," she scolded. "I'm serious here."

"I know," he nodded, "Hence my jokes."

Lindsay opened her mouth but promptly closed it again and instead let her eyes fill with tears. "I just feel so helpless... I want to bring her back for him."

"So do I, baby," Danny whispered as he wrapped her in his arms. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple and shuffled up the bed a little, tugging her with him.

They settled on their pillows together, her head on his chest as they both took a deep breath, her trying to regain some composure, and him trying to find the words to help her lose the glassy look in her eyes from the tears threatening to fall.

She blinked and let out a slow breath. "I love you,"

He squeezed her in his arms and inhaled her scent as he pressed a kiss to her temple, "I love you too."

She glanced up at his eyes for a second before letting her fingers slip to his wifebeater and tugging the hem, effectively lifting it from his body. He let her take the lead for a moment, just to see where she was taking it.

After she had tossed his vest to one side, her fingers went to her blouse and slowly began unbuttoning the shirt. He gave her a furrowed look and opened his mouth to protest, or offer words of some sort of comfort, but before he could she held a finger to his lips.

He considered stopping her – but deep down, he needed to just feel her. To love her. To remind himself that she was still there. As was he.

He slid her pink blouse down her arms as she wiggled slightly to free the material, enabling them to shed the top. Once that was accomplished, Danny began to press a trail of kisses down her neckline, making her shiver as he did so.

He wrapped her in his arms, and pulled her towards him and she settled on top of him, straddled on his lap as she pressed delicate and lingering kisses to his lips.

"We're going to be late if we..."

"I don't care," she whispered.

"The babysitter will..."

"I don't care," she repeated as she made work on his jeans. "I just need you... I need to..."

This time, he was the one holding a finger to her lips before helping her with the button and zipper on his jeans and then moving them onto hers.

The rest of their clothes disappeared with great ease, and positions were taken on the bed. Danny gave Lindsay one last look of 'are you sure?' – and then waited for the silent nod before slowly sliding into his wife and wrapping his arms around her, holding her close.

He began slow; slowly filling her; slowly kissing her. Slow, like they had all the time in the world. Slow, like they were the only two in the world. Slow, like nothing else mattered in the world.

As she pressed soft and loving kisses to his neck, Lindsay let out a muffled whimper against the nape of his neck; sending chills down his spine at the sensations.

She gripped to him once her fingertips had effectively made their way down his arms and affixed themselves to his strong back, desperate for purchase. She was trying to feel as much as she could of him. To make sure he was still there. That the day's events were real - and wasn't a dream where it was her that had been left with her world shattered.

His pace to which he was thrusting into her core was increasing; her hips meeting his as they moulded together as one.

His hands moved to Lindsay's face and cupped her cheeks, holding her in place as he pressed delicate kisses to her lips – one in time to each thrust – effectively sucking the breath out of her as he did so.

Usually, in the back of Danny's mind, he'd be telling himself that he needed to make her climax before he did. He needed to make sure he'd taken care of her. But, right now – all he wanted was to feel her under his fingertips and taste her as he kissed her lips. He wasn't looking for the usual lovemaking experience. He wanted... he wanted...

He wanted that connection with his wife that Flack could no longer have with his girlfriend.

He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, before burying his head in the juncture of her neck and took a moment to inhale her fading perfume. To smell the smell that was so uniquely Lindsay.

Lindsay locked her legs around Danny's waist; her ankles pressing into his ass as she gripped to him; holding him close. And, even though it was something Lindsay usually did to bring them closer, especially when she was nearing the edge, Danny figured that today was different. Today, she was holding him close like that to feel him. Like how he was desperate to feel her.

Both wanted to be close to the other, and instead of fighting for dominance and giggling like they usually did – both let the other make their move. They both let the other do whatever it was that they wanted. Whatever it was they needed to make themselves feel just that tiny bit better.

That tiny bit more alive...

The breath began to hitch in Lindsay's throat and Danny once again increased his pace; now intent on going one step further to making Lindsay feel really alive.

He brushed her hair out of his way with his nose, as he tried to reach her ear. He dropped his head low, and pressed a kiss to the area just below her earlobe before whispering, "I love you," to her.

She pulled away so that she could look him in the eyes – her chocolate eyes glistening. She mouthed the words back to him, and he felt a heat rising inside of him. Those three words were three words they whispered to each other countless times a day, yet with each time they said it, the words meant more.

He felt Lindsay tighten around him before he felt her fall over the edge, crying his name as she came.

Only, the way she felt around him was different. The way she cried his name was different. Something had changed. They were... closer... more connected.

If that was even possible...

Danny could feel himself quickly falling over the edge after her – with no intention of prolonging their lovemaking. After a little coaxing on Lindsay's part on account of her inner muscles slowly contracting around him, the coil in Danny's stomach snapped and he spilled into her; placing peppered kisses to her lips as he did so.

Chests rising rapidly and both breathing deeply, they lay together in silence – their bodies doing the talking as they came down from their highs.

Danny pressed a kiss to Lindsay's temple, before pushing up and sliding out of her and settling next to her on the bed. He then stretched slightly and Lindsay shuffled towards him on the bed, and snuggled into his body; her head on his chest.

As soon as they had both settled into this positions, a buzzing sounded from someone wanting to gain access into their building.

"That'll be the babysitter," Lindsay whispered, still breathless from their lovemaking. "I better..."

Danny grabbed her hand as she moved forward on the bed to grab her dressing gown at the foot of their double bed. "Hey, hey..." he whispered, pulling her back towards him.

She turned as he laced his fingers through hers, "Yeah?"

"It's gonna be okay," he assured her as he brought their intertwined hands to his lips, and kissed hers. "I'm gonna look after you and protect you, k? Nothin' bad's going to happen... to either of us."

She ran her thumb over his hand and nodded.

"I promise." He added.

"I know," she nodded. "I believe you."

With that, she stood and wrapped her bathrobe around her as she padded from the bedroom to answer the door and let Lucy's babysitter in.

Danny simply laid on the bed, listening to his wife explain to the babysitter that Lucy was hopefully down for the night, but if she woke and was hungry, there were bottles in the fridge. And if there were any problems, to call Danny's cell. It was such a trivial thing – to explain to the babysitter what to do – where to look for things.

However.

Whether it was just because of the intensity he and Lindsay had just experienced together through their intimacy, or whether it was the day's events – hearing his wife talk about his baby girl made him appreciate what he had.

What he had to lose.

He cursed Jess for being stood in that specific spot in the diner. He cursed her for being so damn loyal to the badge and babysitting a lowlife like Connor Dunbrook. He cursed her for leaving his best friend in ruins in the aftermath of her death.

He cursed her for the emotions and realisations her death had brought out in him and Lindsay.

"Ellie's all set up in the living room," Lindsay's soft voice broke his train of thought. "Wanna jump in the shower? We need to get a move on..."

Danny blinked up at her and nodded as he grabbed his sweats that lay at the bottom of the bed. "Yeah, sure..."

As Danny stood up Lindsay took his hand, pulled him towards her and wrapped her arms around his neck. She then stood up on her tiptoes and she pressed a lingering kiss to his lips. "Tonight will be fine. We'll get each other through it, alright? You hold my hand, I'll hold yours?"

Danny nodded as he laid his forehead against hers – he wanted to say something...anything... He wanted to offer some words of encouragement like what she'd just given him, but he didn't have anything to give her.

Just himself.

And the promise that he'd keep her safe, no matter the price.

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**Like I said, it's been a while since I wrote... anything other than a post-ep, so I hope it was okay and you enjoyed it. Comments and thoughts are loved and hugely appreciated. Thanks for reading :)**


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